Doshugama's Fuzzy Fame

Narrator
It was exactly 3:33AM on a Tuesday night. The hallway outside of Fabrica's bedroom would normally be dead silent right about now but, for some reason, Sculden is knocking on her door…
Fabrica
Scolden, it's bum-fart-o-clock in the morning. What do you WANT?
Sculden
I couldn't sleep because I was so deep in thought!
Fabrica
You? Thinking?
Sculden
Yeah! Crazy, right?? I was playing the demo for Monster Hunter Stories 3 and-
Narrator
Before he could explain, Scolden was cut off by Fabrica's door closing in his face.
Sculden
Fabrica, wait! This is important!
Fabrica
Something important the day before April Fools? I don't think so.
Sculden
No, I'm serious!
Narrator
There was no response and a beat of silence began to overstay its welcome. Scolden impulsively grabbed the handle of Fabrica’s door and twisted his arm, but the move failed!
Fabrica
It's locked, stupid. Hurry up so I can go back to bed.
Sculden
Okay okay. So, remember when you showed me that hot pirate lady on Genshin? Well, I wanted to pay you back for that!
Fabrica
You have my Cash App.
Sculden
Not money! Like I was saying, I was playing Monster Hunter Stories 3! It's like, Pokemon but with Monster Hunter monsters!
Fabrica
So...Are the monsters your friends now?
Sculden
YEAH!
Fabrica
Scolden, I don't care.
Sculden
But I found the perfect Monstie for you. Let me show you!
Fabrica
MONSTIE? Ugh. Just- … show me tomorrow.
Sculden
But I'll forget.
Fabrica
Then I'll remind you. I'm going to bed.
Narrator
Scolden turned away from his sister's door and lowered his head. His lips curled into a devious grin and he made off to his room for the night... The next afternoon, it was Fabrica who had come knocking. Scolden's door was already cracked open, giving way at the first knock! Fabrica knew her brother as someone who wouldn't often sweat details. Leaving his door open was a common oversight for him. Nevertheless, Fabrica entered without delay.
Fabrica
I thought you said it was Monster Hunter Stories 3. That's Wilds
Sculden
That's because your Monstie isn't in Stories 3. I looked it up. So we gotta play this.
Fabrica
Scolden, I don't have all day.
Sculden
BOLD of you to assume I would take long. Besides. Unlike GEN-SHIN, Monster Hunter lets you actually replay cutscenes so we can get right to it! Oh, wait. Don't look yet. It'll ruin the surprise.
Narrator
Fabrica lowered her brows with suspicion, but turned her back on Scolden's TV anyway. She looked through the doorway at the hallway just outside. The thought came to her to just walk away, but she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms instead. It would be better to see what he wanted now than to get interrupted doing something else when he would inevitably come back for more.
Fabrica
Is it a dragon?
Sculden
No, it's not! It's not even a Wyvern!
Fabrica
So it's a dinosaur.
Sculden
Not even! You'll like this one! He's fuzzy!
Fabrica
Dinosaurs can be fuzzy.
Sculden
He's not a dinosaur! He's like a bear! You love bears!
Fabrica
I do love bears. Wait, is it that blue one with all the spikes on it? I don't LIKE that one.
Sculden
That's Arzuros. You'll LOVE this monster. No spikes, no ridges, no nothin! He's really just all fur. Like a big cotton ball. Or, like, a Dandelion. Yeah! He's a dandy lion!
Fabrica
That doesn't sound like Monster Hunter. I feel like you're lying.
Sculden
NOPE! READY!
Narrator
Fabrica turned around to face Scolden’s TV. She was greeted with the classic loading screen. It was all black, minus the literal word “loading” occupying the bottom right corner in luminescent font. After she drew an impatient breath, the screen lit up and the sequence began.
Fabrica
Is that it? I like that camera work. OH.
Narrator
Fabrica watched the monster drag its prey away from the camera, frozen as she processed what she just saw.
Sculden
That’s all you have to say about your Monstie?
Fabrica
I barely saw it!
Sculden
Ohh, you need a better look.
Narrator
Scolden scrolled through the cutscene gallery, going past thumbnails of snippets from the game’s story. Fabrica was watching the whole time, but she was not actively reading any of the titles on screen. He then stopped at a green rectangle, before clicking on it. Once again, the dark loading screen came first.
Fabrica
There’s so many of them.
Sculden
Yeah, they have nice, happy families.
Fabrica
I don’t know about nice.They look- UHM. EW?
Sculden
Ahaha, What?!
Fabrica
Oh my God. Ew, they're so ugly. What is- OH. OH NO, EW. Alpha Dosha Goooma?
Sculden
Yeah, that's his name. Doshagu-
Fabrica
SCOLDEN! WHY IS STANDING UP???
Sculden
He does that.
Fabrica
Noooo!
Sculden
Fabrica you don't like your Monstie?
Fabrica
You said it was a bear! What IS that??
Sculden
Your Monstie! April FOOOOOL'S!!! HAHAHA
Fabrica
Scolden, that's disgusting! This is why I don't play Monster Hunter!
Sculden
You don't like him? But he's fuzzy~
Fabrica
That's not fuzz, that's mange
Narrator
Fabrica turned away, having seen enough, but Scolden rushed into her way. He held his arms out to fill up the doorway and box her in.
Sculden
But wait! There's more!
Fabrica
I don't WANT any more!
Sculden
No just lemme show you one more video and then that's it, okay?
Fabrica
Fine. ONE
Narrator
Scolden's wireless controller gave him access to the game even while standing in the doorway. He effortlessly flew through the collection of video clips before selecting his last show. Reluctantly, Fabrica turned back to watch the screen.
Fabrica
He's so ugly…
Sculden
Keep watching.
Fabrica
I know. Is that like, an Eewok? Gasp! Wait, THAT'S- HAHA- Yaaaay!
Sculden
Title Update One. Mizutsune.
Fabrica
Bubble Foooox!!!
Sculden
THERE'S your Monstie, Fabrica. April Fool's.
Fabrica
Yaaaaaay! That's more like it! Yeah, get him outta here!
Sculden
Hehehe, I told you I'd pay you back.
Fabrica
Cash App would have been better, but I take Bubble Fox.
Narrator
With her faith restored, Fabrica was free to leave now that Scolden got his chuckles for the day. At least the ones from Fabrica. For Scolden, this was just an appetizer. April Fool’s Day had only just begun. He had randoms to troll online.

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